You’ve joined an online dating site, and someone has caught your eye.
So, what now?
How do you start conversations online?
With a joke?
How about a chat up line?
The first message you send can make or break your chances of a successful first date. And so it’s important you get it right. Also, saying the right things when online dating is a very much fragile thing. After all, first impressions matter especially when you’re not meeting face to face.
1. Humour works a treat
Most online daters are looking for ‘someone that can make them laugh’. Avoid being cheesy though. Aim your joke at something you both have in common. Perhaps something in her profile.
Maybe a movie? How about a film quote? I remember one of my friends told me that it sure does work when a man is making a girl laugh with some silly jokes. It can also brighten the tense atmosphere of the date.
2. Everyone loves a compliment
I also do love being complemented in, may it be my looks or my qualities.
Complimenting someone can actually make their confidence level go up. Do prove you’ve actually read her profile with a compliment about her taste in music, a great restaurant, or a country he’s visited.
Warm compliments work well in first messages, but superficial ones can have a reverse effect, or come across as weird – so stick to something factual.
3. Start with shared interests
Finding some common ground can open the door for great conversation. Look through his/her music interests, favourite foods, their job and try and spark up conversation based on what they’re into.
Daters with common interests can strengthen their bonding as they will have a lot of things to talk and discuss about. If ever I have a date with less common interest, our conversations will be very limited as we don’t have any topic of conversation to talk about.
4. Ask a question
I always ask questions about my dates.
I always try to ask about their personal life, interests and goals. I encourage you to ask a question but do make sure it’s an open one, or the conversation could end before it’s begun.
Avoid suggesting a face-to-face date in your first message, instead stick to something you’ve seen on their profile.
Do you share the same music taste? Has she seen your favourite band live?
5. Nervous? Keep it simple
Get their attention with a simple ‘hey’. It’s tested, and it works.
One time, when I was out on a date and was really nervous, I immediately drank the water the waitress served and uttered the word, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m very nervous’. And my date laughed. Your initial message should be straight and to the point – but make sure you follow up with something more creative, perhaps an open question, or a straight forward how are you?
If ever your online dating is a success. How will you ever to try and make your date fall for you? Be sure to check out sites about how to flirt properly. Happy dating!